Joseph Emmanuel Mussabini Obituary (1946

Joseph Emmanuel Mussabini, a jovial, outsized and warmly hospitable personality whose life in the food and beverage industry spanned more than 50 years and took him all over the world, from his birthplace in Lebanon, to Egypt, South Africa, and eventually to the United States, died at home on July 26, 2020 at the age of 73. Joe's colorful presence and robustly infectious laugh that carried across the room would be familiar to a great many people in Portland,Oregon, where he spent 20 years as the manager of Alexander's, on the top floor of the Hilton Hotel in downtown Portland.There he held court with regular clients and dignitaries alike, including Presidents Reagan, Bush and Clinton, British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, and Israeli President Shimon Peres. He spoke five languages, and could switch effortlessly between Arabic, French, English, Italian and Greek. In 2001, he made an Oregonian columnist's list as best maitre d' in Oregon, and the restaurant was considered the crown jewel in the Hilton Hotel chain. Hospitality was his life's satisfaction, and he inspired loyalty, respect and affection among his employees, friends, and clients. Joe was born to a well-off family in Beirut; his father Nicolas worked in finance, his mother Christine was from Greece, and he was raised Greek Orthodox Christian. He and his older sister Minnie lived with their parents in Alexandria, Egypt, on the seventh-floor penthouse of a building next to the Mediterranean Ocean which instilled in him a lifelong connection to the sea. Joe's youth was full of mischief; he constantly teased his sister, female cousins and their friends. He got into all kinds of trouble, including swimming in the ocean in the middle of the winter and jumping from the seventh floor of his building to the roof of the fifth floor of his aunt's building next door. He left for school immaculately groomed every morning, and usually returned in a uniform that was dirty and/or torn, without being able to provide satisfactory explanation for what had happened to him. His father taught him perfect table manners and discipline, but it was his mother who taught him to be kind and to help people, even if he didn't know them. Joe's father died unexpectedly when he was just 16. Although the family had been well-off, after his father died Joe was expected to support the family. (The state did not allow children under the age of 21 to inherit, and his mother received a pension in lieu of an inheritance). Joe ended up working hard labor on the docks for a year, carrying 100-pound sacks of rice and potatoes on his back. At the age of 17, Joe's family sent him to the Red Sea to learn the hotel trade. He lived at the edge of the sea in a tent on the beach with three other men. They bathed and shaved in the sea, and worked from 6:30 a.m. until 11 p.m. every day. He had fond memories of the many adventures he had there, including hunting rabid wild dogs from Jeeps in the desert, being stung all over his body by jellyfish (after which he also got sunburned), and surfing on sand sharks on the beach. After three years he graduated and began his career. Joe's first job was at a Royal five-star hotel in Alexandria, working as a night auditor and front office clerk. Although he was talented at the night auditing, which involved a massive ledger and detailed numbers, management saw that his real talent lay in front-of-house work. While learning his trade, Joe also played semi-professional soccer. Over 12 years, he traveled in Europe to do seasonal work learning the hotel trade, and playing soccer. As a left-winger he was uniquely able to kick with both left and right feet. He played for teams in Alexandria, Athens (AEK), Malmo in Sweden, and for Durban City in South Africa. He and his then-wife Wendy attended the first-ever multi-racial soccer match in Johannesburg as spectators, and fled with everyone else when the game ended at halftime with a riot and was abandoned. Eventually, Joe immigrated to South Africa; he knew some people there and thought it would be a good move. He lived in Johannesburg for a short time where he again worked as a night auditor. He then moved to Durban and commenced his career in the five-star Edward Hotel. He became their youngest maitred' hotel ever in his early 20s. He did well there and worked for the same company for 14 years helping to open other hotels around the country, including Sun City, Tollman Towers and Sandton Sun. Joe met his first wife, Wendy DeLaHarpe in Durban. They lived in Johannesburg for 13 years where he was an excellent stepfather to her three children. They divorced in the 1980s and remained on good terms the rest of his life. Because South Africa and Egypt did not have formal relations, Joe was deemed an "honorary white" on his passport to help facilitate his work in hospitality. While he continued to play soccer, he also took up the game of squash. In the late 1970s, Joe and Wendy were gifted a trip around the world by his company and one of the countries they visited was the United States. After that visit, Joe's life changed course. He returned to South Africa to pack his bags, and he and Wendy relocated to New York City. After a short time at the NY Hilton front office, they then relocated to Los Angeles. Joe got to know Allen Levin in 1978 in Los Angeles, and together with another partner they opened a supper club called Marbles, which was frequented by many celebrities. They ran it for several years, until the Sheraton in Spokane, Wash., asked Joe to accept a one-year contract to completely overhaul their food and beverage operation. In 1985, Joe was hired at the Portland Hilton as the general manager of the new 23 rd floor operation which came to be known as Alexander's. After 20 years of success with the restaurant, he took an early retirement in 2005 and moved to Los Angeles to open The Harvest Café with his two nephews in Santa Clarita. During that time he stayed in touch with his friend Allen. When the restaurant closed seven years later, Allen persuaded Joe to return to Portland. Allen asked Joe to help with his business, Century Catering, and Joe supported him in a variety of ways from that time onward. Among other things, he helped with shopping, cooking, moral support, advice, event management and staffing – he could do it all. But the best part for Joe was the friendship between them that became deeper than ever. Having given up soccer when he moved to the US, Joe became a formidable squash player. He achieved a ranking in the top 10 in his division in the country, and for his age division he was in the top 5 in the nation. He practiced every day for at least 2 ½ hours, including Christmas. As a result of his talent and dedication, he won several tournaments over the years. He also enjoyed a wide circle of friends and acquaintances developed on the squash court, who remained in touch until the very end. In 2013, Joe was in his usual spot at the café at the Mittleman Jewish Community Center sipping a cup of coffee when he saw a beautiful woman who turned his life upside down. After a time, he invited her to dinner, and eventually thought he might invite her to join him on a trip to Hawaii, and while they were there he suggested they might as well get married. Amy Liv Laing and Joe married Sept. 17, 2018. Once again, Joe was a stepfather to three children with a lot of new responsibilities. Tragically, their time together ended up being much too short. In January 2020, he was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), the same illness that took the life of his older sister Minnie. It progressed rapidly, taking away his physical strength and dexterity as well as his breath, but never his sense of humor. Joe loved to call his many friends and kid around with his two nephews on the phone, and was known to be quite the joker/storyteller. Listeners never knew if he was serious and learned to be skeptical when he said he was excellent at doing something, since on the whole he was very modest about those things he was best at doing. He was especially happy to debate the merits of his favorite soccer team, Liverpool with his friend Allen, who supported Manchester. It was rare for Joe to leave the house and not encounter somebody he knew. When out and about in Portland, Joe was always finding friends around every corner. Joe took advantage of Oregon's Death With Dignity Act to leave this planet on his own terms. Characteristically well-prepared and organized, he finished his personal "to-do" list, gathered friends to say goodbye, and made sure that everything was ready before making his final toast. He will be dearly missed by many friends and acquaintances, but the world is a better place for his having been in it. Survivors include his wife; Amy Liv Laing, three step children Madeleine, Duncan and Katherine Bradford; ex-wife Wendy Delaharpe and her children;nephews Nagy and Ramy Elguindy; dear friend Allen Levin and his family. Memorial service will take place when it is possible to gather people safely